The Rantings of a news addict

By Collin Gallant

Hello loyal reader

I won’t embarass you by welcoming you back to school. I’m sure yopu know
you’re back at school. I spent the summer loading pipe. I hope you fared

Much is happening on the news wire. There is craziness in Russia, civic
and senatorial elections to deal with at home, and a host of all-around
muck to rake through.

In fact, too much is happening to whittle my brunt down to a single topic.
Therefore, I present this new and unusual format especially designed for
when the news comes fast and furious and the writer is busy loading pipe.


News item: Supreme Court rules for pay equity

Female government workers are to receive back pay thanks to a policy
put forth by the liberals and upheld by the courts.

Taxpayer rights are called into question as they so often are these days.
Should the taxpayers be held accountable for governmental actions that cost
a lot of money? Of course, especially if they are correct actions.

My only question: considering that government workers have been unionized
since well before any of this, where was the Canadian Union of Public Employees
during the 1980s when they should have been helping these women in a collective
bargaining sense?


News item: Supreme Court of Canada (again, ugh) rejects Reform Party
attempts to obtain court order, stalling the appointment of an Alberta senator
until after Alberta Senate elections.

Since it is clearly written in the constitution that Senators are to
be appointed by the Prime Minister, what else could they do? The court is
not an evil/Eastern (use interchangeably) force out to destroy democracy.

It’s called legal precedent and Reform has none.

The Supreme Court better watch who it pisses off though, or it will be
next for the axe.


News item: Jewish groups sue Volkswagen for its use of slave labour during
World War II.

Well this is a can of worms.

Whatever happened to the idea of compensating descendants of American
slaves? How do you think it would go over if the National Association for
the Advancement of Coloured People suing descendants of Plantation owners
and the cotton industry?

Not very well.


News Item: Canada’s economy fails to grow in three consecutive months.

No kidding. It’s called the business cycle. The stock market had been
booming for going on four years before the declines.

I predict people will blame the government for this normal occurrence.


News item: Alberta is once again on the hook for millions of bad debts
on government loans.

This time it’s the world’s largest shopping mall, you know, West Edmonton
Mall, the place that has all the same shops as any other mall but makes
it all a baZing consumer experience.

The Shopatropolis allegedly bribed members of the Alberta Treasury Branch
to get massive loans at extremely good (some might say criminal) interest
rates (zero).

How much of Alberta’s debt, which is unspeakably evil and business destroying
-if you believe any of the hype- could be wiped out if all of Alberta’s
bad debts were collected? Think about it; NovaTel, Gainers and the Edmonton
Oilers just to name a few and that alone is close to a billion dollars.

Why do Big businesses need these loans if business is booming in Wild
Rose Country? Let’s lynch Peter Pocklington.

My prediction: People will forget as they have so many times before.


News item: Baseball makes a comeback.

Home run derby is heating up. The New York Yankees are 60 games over
500. Ahhh, this is all the opiate I need.

Baseball has regained some of its lagging fanbase after outrage over
strike years and players who fans consider whiny babies.

The St. Louis Cardinals are drawing an average 6,000 extra fans to home
games, presumably because of Mark Maguire’s homerun hunt. Estimates of the
extra revenue have run as high as $24 million. There goes the argument that
baseball players are overpaid. The minor lesson here is that steroids are
good. For me the same goes for the Olympics. Ben Johnson was on steroids
but, man, was he fast.

At least the steroid-dependent Maguire isn’t Yankees pitcher David Cone
who has a special term in his contract that oVers a bonus if he doesn’t
beat his wife.


A personal note. Being back on campus is strange. This year I arrived
and noticed the flag in front of MacEwan Hall was at full mast. Hmmmn, I
thought, no dead princess this year. I’ll have to do my grieving in front
of the tv.

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