I want to sink my balls deep into your pockets

By Kris Kotarski

The scene was set for the greatest sports spectacle the Campus Cove has ever seen. Canadian 9-ball champion Paul Portier was visiting the University of Calgary campus and taking on all challengers, providing they paid the mandatory five-dollar fee. The greatest threat to Portier’s cue-ball superiority proved to be the Gauntlet’s very own Patricia Fuentes, a shy but sleek photo editor just itchin’ to take the title.

The atmosphere in the Cove turned icy like a slurpee as the two competitors faced off in the mid-afternoon showdown. Portier used his skill and cunning to snooker out of the first game with a fortuitous victory. But Fuentes was just warming up. The next game was an epic battle, much like the Students’ Union’s commissioner elections are every year. Fuentes started out with a solid break and proceeded to clean the table ball by ball. After an unfortunate miss, Portier took control for the rest of the game. A horrible shot on the nine-ball gave Fuentes a chance to steal a victory and she did just that, hitting the corner pocket with a vengeance.

Sweat poured down the champion’s brow as the third game kicked off. Fuentes, drunk on the sweet nectar of victory, let loose miss after miss until there were no balls left. Portier squeaked by with a 3-1 win, but it was too damn close for comfort. Maybe it was because he used only one hand the whole time.

Portier’s visit to the U of C was the last leg of his Western Canada tour. After winning the Canadian 9-ball Championship he took to the road to show off his amazing skills, to make some money for charity, and to get some publicity for the game of pool and for his own Pool School in Paradise. The school runs in Vancouver and for only $2,700 anyone can get a week’s worth of coaching and banter from Portier and other pool sharks. If we’re lucky, Portier will come back to Calgary to take on all challengers once again.

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