VP Events

By Mary Chan

Ian Thorner should have quit while he was ahead. The third-year biology student and self-proclaimed founder of Snow Pants Day bit off more than he could chew as a commissioner-his rudimentary misunderstanding of the issues gave that away-and now he will likely lose the VP Events race to any of the much stronger internal and external candidates.


Thorner parlayed an unoriginal Gauntlet TLF submission into an SU commission for himself, and for that he deserves a modicum of respect. Yet, for someone who has worked the events commission for five months, he seems oblivious to how the SU works. But Thorner is truly a crafty being, for he has learned how to indiscriminately rebrand others’s ideas as his own.


The thrust of Thorner’s “ideas” come out of SLC: a security card-swipe at the Den, poster cases and showcasing student talent are great ideas, but they are all done already.

His other ideas include differential cover at the Den, happy hour pricing at the Den, putting old stuff in the Den and starting more traditions and events at-wait for it-the Den. To further demonstrate his coasting abilities, he wants to continue existing events like the Bitter Ball and the Cinemania movie nights.


On the plus side, the osmosis of SLC banter into Thorner’s head included some knowledge about how his cohorts voted to disembowel the DAAC, besting two other candidates. Overall, Thorner comes across with much less substance than his competitors and therefore doesn’t deserve the position.

Magic Eight Ball says: