Hi. You might not know me but I have a crush on you. I know it’s silly but I have a big weakness for good looking dreadlocked girls with guitars who spout revolutionary politics. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go see a movie or something. I hear The Corporation is pretty good. We could get popcorn and sodas and maybe even hold hands if it was okay with you.
After the movie we could go to my place and I could show you my record collection. I guess it’s pretty good, even though I’m still missing a lot of stuff.
If you do come over could you not bring your latest album? It’s called Disarming right? I know this will probably ruin my chances of walking you home, but I don’t like it very much.
It was really cool how you wrote all those descriptions of your own songs on the track listings though. My favourites were "conscientious carnivalesque French Cabaret" and "sunny, glint-o’ gospel soul-funk." The labels were a good idea and everything, but to me the whole album sounded like acoustic folk-pop.
I know I shouldn’t be saying this as you must be getting sick of it, but you kind of sound like Ani Difranco–except you’re not as good. Please don’t take that the wrong way. I don’t want to go to the movies with Ani Difranco, only you Ember.
I’m so bad at this kind of thing. Let me know what you think. If the answer is no, I hope I didn’t make things weird. I’m such an idiot.