By Lee Bogle and Sean Nyilassy
November 5-7, the Dinos women’s basketball team travelled westward ho to have dinner with the national champions of the last two years. First on the menu was an omelette large enough to feed the team. To make it they needed to break a giant Thunderbird egg. And not only did it break, but our fine ladies stirred it with a giant egg beater.
Translation: The Dinos beat the 2004 national champion University of British Columbia Thunderbirds 71-62.
In unorthodox style, Head Coach Shawnee Harle put rookie Jamie Morck into the line-up for the tip-off along with the usual suspects. After a slow start, Mastermind Tanya “Keyser Söze” Hautala kicked the offense up a notch.
In less than 16 sweet minutes she had over half the team’s points with a sweet 16 that would make Hilary Duff green with jealousy. Take that Dave Kujan. At the half the Dinos were well on their way to a Denver, leading 39-28.
In the latter half UBC managed to hop out of the frying pan, battling back to within three points. But our ladies were hungry for the win and managed to throw the T-Bird back into the fire. Hautala finished with 29 points in a scant 35 minutes of court time. Cory Bekkering added 13 of her own and led the team with eight rebounds. This may sound like a fantastic game to you, but Harle knows better.
“I wouldn’t be able to score points like that without my team,” conceded the super-amazing Hautala.
Indeed. One would have trouble playing basketball by one’s self.
“We’re still trying to figure out if we can be average or really good,” she said, making things clear as crystal. “On Friday we were really good. On Sunday we were average.”
Quite.
With their glutinous impulses quenched, the Dinos fell hard to the 2003 national champion University of Victoria Vikes. Accruing an early deficit, the Dinos never had a chance. The sole bright spot was wee little Carolyn Foltinek, leading the Dinos with 11 points and an impressive field goal percentage of 71.3679.
“It was an awesome feeling,” gushed a modest Foltinek, “but we still came out with a loss.”
Indubitably.
“UVic was better than us in every statistical category,” Harle confessed. “We got out-toughed.”
Yes, that was the most insulting statistical category, the Vikes rated a standardized 176 on the tough index compared to our meager 2.
“But it’s not the end of the world,” Harle assured the press. “We have 18 games to go and we’re 7-1.”
Hopefully she’s right and Armageddon is not upon us. Redemption could come swiftly and satisfyingly, as the Dinos travel to the land of Edmonton to devour the University of Alberta Pandas Nov. 12-13. And how shall they win?
“We have to stay within our realm,” confided Associate Coach Claire Mitton.
And that is one ass-kicking realm to be in!