Boxers or news briefs?

By Chris Tait

Let me guess… it’s cold.

Polar bears may have to re-evaluate the feasibility of their secret trading routes following “The Arctic Climate Impact Assessment Report: Shipping in the Canadian Arctic,” a lecture with Dr. Rob Huebert. The lecture, presented by the Centre for Military and Strategic Studies and the Arctic Institute of North America, will happen at 12:30 p.m. on Thu., Mar. 24. Santa Claus was unavailable for comment before press time.

Empty words

Verbally productive unite! The English Literature Students’ Society presents Spoken Scribblings, a collection of readings in the Empty Space by such famous wordsmiths as Sheri-D Wilson and “Ogden’s greatest living poet,” ryan fitzpatrick. The notorious and nacreous neologisms will take place Mon., Mar. 28 at 7 p.m. Come for the free snacks, sounds and surreptitious surprises.

Smoother than a baby’s bottom

Bald is always better! The Canadian Cancer Society is on campus Thu., Mar. 31 for their annual head-shaving event in MacEwan Student Centre. All are welcome to support the multitude of selfless suckers willing to cast narcissism aside for good causes (including entertainment for all as people do the “Sinead O’Connor”). For more info about donating or participating, check out But hurry, there’s only one week left.

CASA elects new director

The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations, the Students’ Union federal lobby group which represents 300,000 students, has elected a new national director. Phil Ouellette will take over the position starting May 1.

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