Spun: Crystal Pistol

By Bryn Levy

Just when you thought pop-punk and Theory of a Nickel-Creed had managed to completely pussify rock ‘n’ roll, along comes a band of musical pirates from Vancouver to prove you wrong. On Mar. 29, Crystal Pistol will release their self-titled debut­–an album with enough ’80S hair influence to convert your grandmother to satanism.

If you’re looking for ballads to listen to while relaxing in the tub, go buy an Enya record and run away screaming from this album. This is unapologetic, balls-out rock reminiscent of the days of cheap gasoline, hairspray, indoor smoking, Camaros and acid-washed jeans.

Songs like “Watch You Bleed” and “Teenage Parasite” showcase the crunching guitar riffs of lead guitarist “Pinto” and the raunchy vocals of Mik Ireland. With an album mixed by Mike Fraser (AC/DC, Aerosmith, The Cult, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Metallica), production values are predictably high, making for a nylon-anihilating good time.