Bush’s new beach career

By Roman Auriti

Tourism Queensland has recently made an outrageous offer. It’s been globally advertising for a “tropical caretaker” to live for six months on the Hamilton Island just off the coast of Queensland, Australia. Th ere aren’t any specific prerequisites for this particular position- other than one
year’s relevant experience- and keeping a blog and a video diary of what life is like there. The caretaker would be given a three bedroom villa- complete with swimming pool- rent free and that individual would be paid $122,000 CDN to do this for only 12 hours of work per month!

The only way to apply for this position is to send a video to islandreefjob.com and fi ll out the online form. Competition is tight because there will be thousands of applicants, but only one special person will get the job.

However much I think I’m the perfect person for this job- and yes, I will be submitting an online application soon- there’s only one person who I would concede to if they submitted an application. This person would be George Walker Bush.

Who else would deserve this job? Bush just finished his presidency and he could probably use a nice break from politics. And a tan. He should be on the lookout for a job because, being such a young gun, he isn’t ready to retire or stop saying things that no one really understands, like “Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!”

Personally, I think that being a tropical caretaker would be a step up in his career, however ironic that sounds. Who wants to be president of the most powerful country on Earth with the responsibility to do everything in your political power to make it a better nation? I, and I think I speak for Bush as well, would much rather laze around with a laptop, a surfboard and unspoiled beaches for six months.

Hopefully Bush does in fact try to land the tropical caretaking job. He wouldn’t have to go back to Texas and live on a ranch or travel the world, experiencing it first class because he would already be on another venture that is sure to make history. Th is time though, he would be on an island with a handful of people who actually care about him because, frankly, he’s not very popular anywhere else.

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