Alice Cooper — Brutal Planet

"There’s no parole, there’s no escape," fumes Alice Cooper on the title track of his new album Brutal Planet. How true. Once, Alice’s tales of the world’s creepy crawlies stood for dark carnival intrigue. Now, an older Alice just sounds like a misguided high school counsellor bawling over the mean old world. Sorry Alice, preaching school’s out for summer.

Like other older artists, Cooper opts for an updated sound. Unfortunately, one Rob Zombie is enough. Cooper’s metal meanderings are bleak, lyrically and musically. Despite his hopes, Alice is past 18 and long past quality songs like "I’m Eighteen." Brutal indeed.

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