By Randy Lewis
The Right Honourable Joe Clark, leader of the national Progressive Conservatives, was recently sworn back into the House of Commons after a seven-year absence. This leaves the country with only one question: what is going to become of his daughter Catherine?
Since Clark ran for the PC party leadership a year ago, his daughter has become the most recognizable woman in Canadian politics. While top party officials and other key strategists have fled the sinking ship, one person has managed to remain true to the Tories and that of course is his own flesh and blood (but someone should check the genetics associated with that one. Is anyone supposed to believe that half that woman’s genes came from Clark?).
Now that Daddy is back to work full-time on Parliament Hill, the photogenic young Catherine will have to do something other than follow Joe around, shaking hands with Canadians who are more excited to look down her shirt when she bends over than to care about anything having to do with politics.
For the past year, every photo containing Joe Clark’s face also contained the face of miss Catherine. In every televised Clark news conference, the cameraman shows an angle that is certain to capture her face in the same shot as her fathers’. One has to wonder why a young woman such as herself has all that extra time to vacation with her parents for an entire year.
Other people her age are going to school, getting an education or busting their asses working 60 hours a week just to make ends meet, yet Queen Catherine has decided at this point in her life that it’s better to help Daddy win the leadership of a party that will soon be wiped off Canada’s political landscape. Good choice Catherine! When Joe loses his seat in the next election, the only thing this publicity will allow her to do is create a photo spread in some third-rate porn magazine.
So now, with her father as an MP from Kings-Hants, Nova Scotia (wasn’t he born in high river?), her life will undergo many changes. Unfortunately for her, the House does not support the "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day" program, so I guess it is time for her to get all pretty for the next round of campaigning during the next federal election. Let us just say that the Tory party will gain votes from every pervert who wants to sleep with a politician’s daughter–except those who believe that former Miss Canada, Juliana Thiessen is more attractive.