You’re never truly alone

By Arianna Sebo

There are two types of people in the world: inhibited people and uninhibited people. I would like to think the majority of the population belongs in the inhibited category. But is this really so?

First, let me explain to you what I mean by inhibited. An inhibited person is generally a clean, polite person. They wash their hands after they use the toilet, they chew with their mouth closed and they don’t pick their nose in public. An uninhibited person in the opposite.

I don’t understand why so many people are spotted picking their noses in their vehicles, especially at traffic lights. Your car does not emit an invisible force field around your vehicle stopping others from seeing you. Do you think you are invisible? You’re stopped at a traffic light for god’s sake. Everyone can see you!

And then there are the people who pick their noses in public and go to great lengths to try and disguise that fact. I know you’ve seen them. Like the guy in the bookstore who pretends to read a book by holding it an inch from his face with one hand while the other makes suspicious cave-digging movements beneath the cover. Or the woman in the cafeteria line who pretends to scratch her face, while inconspicuously (so she thinks) shoving her thumb up her nose.

If you’re like most people, you value others’ opinions of yourself. I’m sure you wish to be labeled as a clean, polite person. Therefore, you should not pick your wedgie, nose, or especially someone else’s nose in public. Engaging in this behaviour shows evidence of being way too uninhibited. As an illustration, there is a middle-aged gentleman that I see very often on my walk to the C-train. He looks like a very happy fellow, always walking with a smile on his face. But every time I see him, his hand is grasping at the wedgie between his butt cheeks. You can’t help but wonder what goes through his mind.

I admit I’m not immune to wedgies or a stuffed-up nose. These are normal functions of the body. But the difference between an inhibited person and an uninhibited person is the amount of times you see them doing inhibited things in public. In football terms, the score would be something like this: Uninhibited Person 56, Inhibited Person 0. Which team would you rather play for? I’ll stick with the losing team.

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