Out to pasture, but still giving thanks

It’s been fun–seriously, it has. Even though you see me running around all stressed out, and even though I curse, yell and threaten all of you, it’s been a blast. Gauntlet sports editor is the funnest (is funnest a word?) job on campus because of you. Not you, the reader. I like you too, but not as much as I like my dedicated staff of volunteers. So before sports-writer extra-ordinaire Ryan Laverty takes over for me and starts quoting his mom in every story, I have a list of thank-you’s to write.

Thanks to Lawrence "Irish Cream" Bailey, even though the Bailey I knew is dead. The new one has a fiancée. Sure he’s happy–but his fun is over. He still better sit with me at basketball games.

Thanks to Daorcey "No Thyroid" Le Bray. I hope you enjoy Edmonton next year with all its (chuckle) charms. Look on the bright side;
I won’t be able to fire your ass anymore.

Thanks to Randy "Butterfly" Lewis and good luck in med school. Who knows, maybe healing people will be just as easy as writing men’s volleyball.

Thanks to Scott "My real name is Matthew" Lepp. You’ve come a long way and you’ve kept touch with what’s most important–beer. Keep it up and have a good summer.

Thanks to Andrea "3:00 a.m." Bundon. You did something no one else could–you made me like people from Saskatchewan. Maybe with your help Jeremy Wotherspoon will be able to pee like a normal human being again.

Thanks to Darren "Dr. Freeze" Friesen, wherever you are. Good luck in the big scary world. Will it be as scary as the top line of the Golden Bears?

Thanks to Andrew "Pillage the Village" Ross, perhaps the finest (and only) swim beat reporter this paper has ever had. I hope Megan Kinsella and Yanni don’t kill you for your spotty coverage.

Thanks to Maximus Klein for being the only one brave enough to say what we all feel. Sex is the best form of exercise and buddy, I hope you’re exercising lots.

Thanks to Matt "Captain Late Copy" Oakes–thanks for nothing that is. You started writing Buzz, but I still like ya. Thanks for the help when I needed it most.

Thanks to Raf "Gord" Ford. Your opinionated opinions as well as your resilience in finding the most obscure topics imaginable will be missed.

Thanks to Sarah "The Wall" Stall, wherever you are. Good luck at camp and I hope you find time to write next year.

Thanks to Kristian "Geech" Leach. I appreciate the help when I get it. Between Toys ‘R Us and varsity wrestling, I hope you don’t kill yourself.

Thanks to Evan "Old Man" Osentоn. I hope you enjoy being put out to pasture. I promise to join you there to sit on an old porch reminiscing about our long-lost youth.

Thanks to Rob "I framed Kris" South. The soccer cabs haven’t been the same without ya.

Thanks to the photo department for the oftentimes thankless job of making the section beautiful.

Finally, thanks also to all the proofreaders, occasional writers, editors, typesetters and Web monkeys, who helped make our sports section what it is. You are the best sports staff anywhere in Canada and it’s been a privilege to work with you.

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