Thinking and driving

Has lightning ever hit your brain when you least expected it? While stalking unsuspecting students walking back to their vehicles in Lot 10, trying to steal their parking spot, a bolt zinged me. My revelation: some questions have no answers.

I’m sure most of you have already figured this dilemma out, made peace with it, and found some way of dealing with it. However, I believe I might be in some serious trouble here. Counselling may be my only recourse. I don’t see the point to have this powerful of an absurdity in a world that would appear in the dictionary under "ludicrous"!

"What’s the meaning of life?" "Why do people turn the sprinklers on when it is raining?" "Does this make me look fat?" These are just a sampling of answerless quandaries. They float out there like stranded pool noodles.

There are many more unanswered questions that I neglect to mention, so much so that CSIS is thinking about putting together a list. However, they were afraid that they would overload their Fisher Price computer and then they would have to go back to fitting the shaped blocks through the holes.

At last glance, the FBI was going to devote a team to this conundrum but when someone at the bureau noticed that their initials actually stood for, "Freak, Bastards and Idiots," they committed remaining funds to a much needed "PR" campaign.

It seems that no group or organization wants to even get close to this ticking time-bomb, except for me. So whether that makes me a demolition expert or a guy who likes to take life that much further, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have opened a Pandora’s Box, letting loose all the notions and ideas that have been locked away for years, but never fear. It won’t take more that a butterfly net and a couple Zip-lock bags to re-harness them.

Even if someone does investigate this dilemma, that doesn’t mean we’ll get a solution. This may be the ultimate question that has no answer, the pinnacle of unremedied queries. Something tells me it’s not, and how do I know this? Call it intuition or a drunken stupor, it depends on what day of the week this is. Nevertheless, whether or not this question is solved is not the point, it’s that I got people thinking.

Hopefully we can all draw a conclusion from this never ending circle of bewilderment: Lot 10 is not a good place to think like I did, because then you will miss your only opportunity for the last parking space, thus making you late for a midterm, which in the end you fail. Chalk up another one to the human brain, I would say, filled with the common sense we all seem to lose in the couch.

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