Random thoughts

By Kris Kotarski

Some random thoughts this week.

…When sentences start with “Upon careful examination of the ‘I’m a Slave’ video…” you know you’re in for a good night. Britney Spears hosted Saturday Night Live last weekend and once again showed us why it’s good to be male. Say what you will about Britney, but no one, I repeat no one, has the power to bring together different generations of men quite like her. My dad, Bob Dole, Bob Dole’s dog-we all love Ms. Spears, at least when the mute button is on.

I watched SNL with a friend of mine and his 16 and 12-year-old brothers. Kevin, the youngest, was allowed to stay up past his bedtime just to watch the show. When his mom told him he can go to bed when the show is over, he said “I love you mom” and grinned at the rest of us. It was like Christmas.

…Christopher Walken’s performance in Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of choice” video leads me to believe Walken could start his own 24-hour channel. The programming would include Walken dancing for 20 hours with a four hour break for “Deer Hunter” and the nightly news.

…Wolf Blitzer has one hell of a name.

…If Tony Danza gets a second chance every two months, it’s about time Triumph the Insult Dog got some prime-time exposure. Triumph needs his own show.

Granted, that would lead to the inevitable downfall of Late Night with Conan O’Brian, but people have to make sacrifices. Just imagine the hilarity. They could cast some hyper-sensitive celebrities for Triumph to harass week after week. He could have a posse of “boyz” with Snoop Doggy Dogg and Kevin Nealon. They would have his back as he asks Jennifer Lopez insensitive questions for a ten minute skit. The possibilities are endless… for me to poop on!

…Just in case Tom ‘Tiny’ Lister Jr. can’t play Deebo in the next installment of Ice Cube’s “Friday” franchise, Edmonton Oilers forward Georges LaRocque is the one man that can replace him.

…For those of you who haven’t watched professional wrestling in a while now is a good time to start. The evil Vince McMahon (onscreen version of World Wrestling Federation owner Vince McMahon) has just invited the nWo (spelt this way for emphasis) faction to spread poison through the veins of the WWF. This means that evil Vince and the evil nWo will run wild for the next four-to-six months. Best part of all this, the nWo is led by the evil Hulk Hogan. I wish I were making this up.

…When Gwen Stefani wakes up in the morning, does she consciously pick clothes that make her look weird? Hey baby, hey baby, hey-you look weird again.

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