Santa be evil

By Kyle Young

As you may or may not recall, AP made a seemingly outrageous claim earlier in the year that there was a correlation between Evil and facial hair (Evil people do not shave, September 9, 2002). Many scoffed, some even assumed we were joking.

Well, you’ll soon be taking back all the cruel and nasty comments you’ve been

making as AP finally backs up one of it’s

outlandish claims with some statistics.

According to a recent study, seven percent of “Mall Santas” or “Santas Helpers” have either misdemeanor or felony convictions within the last seven years.

Would you trust your children with a convicted felon? No? How about your ferret? Would you trust a convict handling your beloved and faithful pet ferret? I thought not.

So as you prepare to bunker down with your family and friends this holiday season, remember: no one who

hides their face behind masses of white fluff can be all that trustworthy?

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