Report Cards: Men’s Volleyball

B+

If the Dinos were a Japanese cartoon character, they would have mouths that were tiny when closed, and really ridiculously big when open. And, they would have blue hair; you gotta have blue hair!

Anyway, the Dinos men’s volleyball squad bounced back from a miserable start to take fourth in both their conference and the nation. They burninated perennial powerhouse Laval at Nationals, and then lost out to both Alberta and Saskatchewan to fall short of the bronze medal.

At times throughout the year the boys looked a little lost, somewhat like a Bonobo looking for a mate with a head full of acid. At other times they chased their opponents out of the gym like a dung-hurling capuchin on a triple dose of Red Bull and trucker’s speed.

If you’re not sure what any of this means, it may be because I am writing under the influence of all the aforementioned substances and sitting in Anthropology 311. Or, it could be because I went over the volleyball season last week, and I lack the motivation and attention span to be insightful and productive. Or, it may be because the Dinos rule the world and funny stuff goes over well with the players. I’m not really sure which it is, but it may be a combination of the three.

All in all, the Dinos are much like the beefy arm of Trogdor the Burninator, very powerful, and very cool. I may be onto something with the blue hair; looks pretty nice!

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