Expanding from the doorway of your university career are two distinct culinary highways, cheap or almost cheap. It’s our duty to guide you on your journey because, frankly, your whole identity will be shaped by if you eat, what you eat, and where you eat it.
Route 1: The Low Road
The mainstream, "Starving Student" route will allow you to join the brotherhood of malnutrition in line at Kobe Beef, Taco Time or A & W, conveniently located on the south side of MacEwan Hall. Welcome to "Penny Lane."
What to look for: Cheap shit
The $4.70 special at Kobe Beef is a rather filling stir-fry, but the hardcore SS would not eat rice-grains have healthy connotations. Thankfully, they have a Shanghai noodle option.
Down the lane at A & W, the traditional two-teen burger meal at $5.00 will lure any half-empty wallet and grease craving. A clearly unhealthy choice that says "almost broke and malnourished" all at once.
The final SS diversion on the end of Penny Lane is Taco Time. This venue screams "cheapest!" when the price of the teen combo defeats your budget. An oasis starting at the low price of $1.49, it will fill your tummy to its burrito bottom.
What to aspire towards: The Black Lounge/Den
The student restaurant and bar at the foot of Penny Lane has a Starving Student cult of its own-only the elite and well-crafted SS will survive here.
Stick to the free coffee refills and unlimited cream and sugar (a great substitution for any meal) and remember, a basket of fries can go a long way.
Route 2: The High Road.
Going classy? Feeling exotic? How about healthy? The U of C is here to cater to all your budding tastes.
Classy: The Den/Black Lounge
The same joint that houses the cult of starving students also furnishes culinary refinement. The higher level Black Lounge is clearly more high class than the Den-romantic booths for two are optional.
The Black Lounge offers a fine choice of wine, between the house red or white. If ordering a beer, a Guinness pint tops the selection. A true food connoisseur will start off with the exotic spanakopitas appetizer. To follow, one of many flavourful pizzas, great for sharing. To top the meal off, a sweet dessert du jour, and coffee or tea.
Remember that nothing boasts class like a 25 per cent tip, great if trying to impress that special someone from PSYC 201, or your server.
Exotic: Pita on the Run
Don’t be deceived by the fast-food name, this Lebanese cuisine is finely cultivated to satisfy every falafel need. After sampling the popular wraps, we suggest venturing into the à la carte section. A combination of the saffi salad, a spinach wrap, a meat pie and baklava to finish, will send the taste buds spinning around the Middle East and back to Mac Hall.
Healthy/NewAge: The Good Earth Café, ICT building
This stop off the beaten path is healthy primarily because you need enough endurance to get there. The sandwich selection is prime, the scones delightful, and this is the only place on campus where you’ll find high-quality Numi tea. Naturally, nothing says new age like organic fair-trade coffee.
Other stops to look for:
First Cup. The cafeteria feel is delightful when you wait in the assembly line for a coffee and a cookie. First cup? Who are you fooling?
Vienna Deli. One word, sushi. They got it. Tastes a little like, uh… an Austrian Tokyo in suburban Calgary.
Subway. A subculture of its own, this thriving chain attracts the 24 hour student because of its extended nocturnal hours of operation. Beware of the neighbouring video arcade-Dance Dance Revolution is not easy on the subway stomach.
Off-Campus sites:
Madison’s. Looking for Earl’s or Joey’s? A restaurant with an apostrophe in its name? This is the closest thing, within walking distance at Brentwood Village. Classier, mid-range prices allow for a larger selection of wine than the Den.
Luciano’s. This Stadium shopping centre joint is casual and reasonably priced. Looks like an Italian kitchen and tastes like pasta.
Moose McGuire’s. This pub attracts the more refined university student. Perhaps a head start, grasshopper?
In this intensely cultivated, thriving culinary community, you may find yourself lost in the midst of your identity formation. But to thine own self be true. Whether you deny your taste buds or max out your bank account, remember you are what you eat.