Review approach 1: The hard sell.
Example: If you don’t own Chutes Too Narrow, you will be mocked by the elderly. Sores will grow around your mouth and in your armpits. Don’t risk it!
Pros: May convince the weak-minded.
Cons: Risks hyperbole. May frighten some. Makes light of a serious medical issue.
Review approach 2: The haiku.
Example: Shins are wonderful / Chutes Too Narrow exquisite / Worth ev’ry penny.
Pros: Simple. Succinct. Very zen.
Cons: Reeks of desperate creativity. May
frighten some.
Review approach 3: The description.
Example: Classically melodic tunes in the vein of Face to Face-era Kinks. Just because your parents could love it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
Pros: More informative.
Cons: A little dull.
Mix equal parts of each. Cook until half-baked. Serve to unsuspecting editor, leaving him little choice but to run the incoherent review.
Ah, the magic of deadlines.