A strange bond

By Lawrence Bailey

Championship teams are always tight-knit groups built on close relationships, trust and lifelong friendships. Few things compare to the unity shared by teammates, never mind champions. Those kind of bonds comes from a variety of places, but in the case of the national champion Dinos women’s volleyball squad, it’s a little unorthodox.


At a team retreat before the season, they put on some old ranch clothes and immediately began laughing at their ridiculouslness. They proceeded to give each other "trailer trash" nicknames and came up with life stories to accompany them. The nicknames stuck and the team perpetuated the whole thing over the course of the season.


What follows is an account of two of the 15 members of the so-called Trailer Trash Association–symbolized by their TTSA (or titty, titty, sweet ass) dance–in their words not mine.


All 15 profiles can be found online at gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. Enjoy!


Caitlin: Introducing TTSA’s loudest, proudest member, Big Deborah. Big Deb is the meat and potatoes of the TTSA and everyone knows she’s got their back.


Biggest Deborah made an early impression on the TTSA. After completing the demanding workload of fifth grade, Big Deb decided it was best that she withdraw from her studies and instead pursue her long lost dream as a truck driver. It was at this young age when Big Deb became the life of the party and impressed the TTSA with her loud funkspirit and obsession with the reddest of red meats. When Big Deb isn’t molding her imprint in the Big Deb lawn chair, Big Deb is in her big semi with her newest beau at the local drive-in.


As for Big Deb’s personal life, well, no one really knows what goes on in the back of Big Deb’s big semi, but all us TTSA members know Big Deb’s routine: by day she plays hooky, by night she gets nookie. When Big Deb puts her big mind to something, Big Deb goes all out.


God bless.


Janelle: With a name like Sally Lou you all may be thinking she is a sweet and innocent girl, but today we’re going to crack through the lies like Wanda Mae cracks her whip.


For obvious reasons, Sally Lou has tried to keep from the masses that her hometown is none other than the "City of Champions." We will not judge her because she then made the right choice in joining the Southern Chapter of the TTSA.


Unlike the majority of other TTSA members, Sally knows who her parents are, she knows for a fact that she only has two brothers and she has no illigitimate children as a result of Ms. Barbies’ successful Lifestyles campaign.


Sally Lou’s recent love scandal sparked interpark interest when it was discovered that her mystery man was none other than the television star Bubbles of the Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Alas, it was not meant to be. She lost the one love of her life due to allergies–their love could not prevail over Bubbles love for kitties.