Spun: Lindsay Lohan

By Naomi Sturtridge

You’ve seen her in everything except hard-core porn (well not yet anyway), and now you can experience the next princess of pop in CD form as well. Geriatric perverts and adolescent girls: Ms. Lindsay Lohan. Speak is the debut album from this teen pop culture phenomenon. Don’t deny it, you’ve been dying to see the musical talent of this multi-disciplinary star. And if you thought nothing spectacular, you’re most definitely right.


With a sudden growth in popularity, it seems Lindsay herself has lost the idea of who she really is. When the world first saw Lindsay, she was a barely developed adolescent, but now at the ripe old age of 18, she’s out partying and posing half-naked on the covers of magazines for creepy old guys. Both these images come crashing together in a mish-mash of different influences and ideas on Speak.


Although the first single from the album “Rumors” is a techno-dance lament of Lindsay’s struggles with stardom, it is the only song of its kind on the album. The bulk of the album is devoted to Lohan singing along to an electric guitar infused poppy faux-punk reminiscent of Ashlee Simpson with song lyrics ranging from mentally stimulating topics as teen love, teen angst and teen heartbreak.


This album is best enjoyed by 13 year-old girls discovering the wonderful world of boys and how to wear just enough clothes to piss their dads off, but still get out of the house.


On the other hand, it could also be enjoyed by grandpa in admiring the sex-posed Lindsay in only a barely buttoned white shirt plastered on the inside cover of the album. If you’re going to portray sex in your image, at least focus and sing about sex. If you’re going to sing to adolescent girls, express an image they can relate to. Just make a decision, don’t try to mix both, because it obviously doesn’t work.