Metal reincarnated

By Chris Courtice

After trying to set up a phone interview for days, two email conversations with a public relations firm and a problem with cell phone reception, the Gauntlet finally managed to snag an email interview with the band opening for Aleixonfire. Yeah. Weak.

Anyway, Keith Buckley of Every Time I Die actually turned out to be a really solid guy with an interesting take on promotional journalism. Whatever. Just read it.

Gauntlet: Welcome, and thank you for the interview. First off, who will be answering my fabulous questions today?

Keith Buckley will be assuming the title of “fabulous” while your questions will take on the monikers of “fat and bearded.”

G: You guys are currently in Alberta, what do you think of it so far? Any favourite locations to play or hang out?

The best hangout was the Edmonton mall where I saw a damn sea lion do a flip. The country looks great, Banff especially. You guys don’t like street signs too much, though.

G: The video for ‘The New Black’ is absolutely hilarious. How has the response been from people besides myself?

Much the same. People seem to especially enjoy Andy. Well, except for some people in our hometown who are the first to bash anything we do.

G: ETID has been notorious for juggling bass players like flaming bowling pins. Who is currently filling the position? Have you ever juggled flaming bowling pins?

His name is Keller, and he comes to us from Atlanta, Georgia, formerly of the band The Chariot. And no, I’ve only juggled flaming hot Cheetos.

G: You guys have a large hardcore following. Are you keeping up with the new trends (i.e. wearing girl pants and/or throwing down)? Because I am sure this would impress the multitudes of fans.

I just recently accidentally bumped into one of these sexually ambiguous kids at a show coming out of the men’s bathroom as I was going in. I quickly apologized, thinking I had gone into the wrong restroom. Then realized my mistake, and realized his at the same time.

G: I heard one of your songs will be in the video game Guitar Hero II. Will you be getting a copy of the game and a Guitar Hero brand guitar? If so, do you plan on mastering your own song in video game form?

I wont be mastering anything until it comes out on Karaoke Revolution.

G: If you could create your own video game, what would it be?

You would have to build a sandwich.

G: I believe Keith has a new puppy at home. What breed is the little canine? Does anyone else in the band have pets at home? Do you guys ever bring the animals with you on tour?

My dog Lemmy just turned one yesterday. He’s an English bulldog that my girlfriend and I share. He doesn’t get to come on tour because he smokes too much weed and the guys don’t like that.”

G: If you could have any mythical creature for a pet, which would you choose?

A Viking.

G: Your website has touring scheduled up until Nov. 19. What are the band’s plans after that?

We go home and write the new record until February, most likely. We’re in the early stages of working out another U.S. tour.

G: ETID is set to play back-to-back shows in Calgary. Are you intrigued by the prospect of staying a night in Calgary?

It’ll be radical. Home of the wrestler Brett Hart. We’re gonna put him on the guest list.

G: According to your website, Red Deer doesn’t exist. I can guarantee you it surely does exist, although the idea of spending time there is a questionable one. Did you drop the show for any specific reason? Were you tipped off and got out while the getting was good?

Basically that’s the case. Alexisonfire cancelled very early on into the tour, but I think we may go there and play in someone’s living room just for the fuck of it.

G: Have you ever caused an interviewer to break down? Cry, hang up or leave the conversation, scream at you, anything of that nature?

I got one fired. Does that count?

G: If you could face any band in a five on five no-holds-barred cage match, which band would you choose? How would your victory go down?

I would pick that singer JoJo and her backup band. Isn’t she like 14? I’d destroy her.

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