Atomic Wedgies gone foul: Campus Security Report

By Cam Cotton-O’Brien

An atomic wedgie led to an ass-kicking in the most ridiculous Campus Security call to take place in December.

A group of six males were caught on closed-circuit-television outside the south doors of MacEwan Student Centre involved in some horse play when one of the group gave another an “atomic wedgie.” The recipient of said wedgie retaliated by striking his assailant in the head a number of times before being pulled off by the others. The man sustained facial injuries. Both Calgary Police and EMS attended.

Rounding out the use of emergency services, the Calgary Fire Department was required to free a caretaking staff member trapped in an elevator in the Education Tower.

The most common security issue in December was theft, with $4,400 in property stolen in 10 separate instances.

“Students should be reminded to take their valuables with them, even if only for a few minutes,” said Campus Security associate director Lanny Fritz. “The majority of these cases involve student backpacks that are stolen while students have stepped away from their study areas.”

He noted that most of the time the victims of theft are more upset about the loss of their project work than material items easily replaced.

“I can’t express enough the relief most of these students would have had they backed up their work,” said Fritz.

Fritz also suggests that if using a locker-especially in the Campus Recreation areas-students should use a short-shank lock, like those distributed by the Students’ Union. “To my knowledge, we haven’t had any short-shank locks broken into.

Other locks are cut on a regular basis.”

The Red and White Club, currently under-renovation, suffered a larger theft when someone pried open a free-standing cash machine and removed the contents. The perpetrators were unable to force entry to the safe.

“When things are under renovation it is a challenge to keep things as secure as they ought to be,” said Fritz.

In the lone academic heist of the month, a student stole a mid-term exam from a classroom in the Social Science building. How the student fared on the stolen test remains unknown.

Total losses for the month, including theft and property damage, were $18,945 accumulated over a span of 107 instances. This brings the total loss for 2006 to

$380,749 down from $415,600 in 2005.

The total number of reported incidents fell from 1,976 in 2005 to 1,771 in 2006, a 10 per cent decrease.