Long weekend sexiness!

By Lesley-ann Barrett

<“My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost six months. Lately I have been feeling the urge to bring sex toys into the bedroom. I have never used them and I’m curious. I have never brought it up before and don’t want her to think I’m bored already or anything. How do I bring up the idea without fear of insulting or scaring her off?”

Sex toys can be a great way to bring a new element into your relationship. That said, if you are interested in bringing something into your sex life you should definitely gauge how your partner might feel about it first. Communication is so important and it opens many other doors between people such as trust, security, comfort. Ask her opinion about sex toys, and if she has an open mind, together, you can start to research some of the toys that interest both of you on via the Internet or by visiting local sex stores. Sex toys can create new ideas and excitement into your mind (and your groin) and are not meant to be seen as replacements or an indication that sex without them is boring. The inclusion of sex toys is a personal preference and you need to feel at ease when introducing them. Start small and take it from there, you may need to buy a bigger toy box as time goes on!



“I have been dating this guy for a week or so and am ready to have sex with him, but every time we get into ‘position’ he gets too nervous and then can’t perform. What can I do to help him feel more comfortable so we can move forward with this?”

Performance anxiety is a more common topic than people think. It’s hard to imagine that all that foreplay, pheromones wafting through the air and hearts racing could still lead to a softie This stems more from psychological distractions than physical ineptness. A number of thoughts may be circling in his mind, such as whether he’ll be good enough, big enough, or maybe his ex gave him a complex about his abilities. Communication is an important factor in this situation, talk with him to help ease his mind and loosen him up. Try not to show disappointment if he doesn’t stand to attention, let him know that it will come in time–no pun intended–and that what you both do now is really satisfying. He needs confidence more than anything else and you can help him with that. If the issue persists, you must make the decision whether or not this is something you want to continue, and whether this is important and necessary for your sexual satisfaction.