Oops! They did it again

By Phil Serchuk

With the completion of the new MacEwan Hall, students are finally breathing a sigh of relief. While many undergraduates believe that the Student’s Union expansion fiasco has come to an end, Gauntlet reporters have recently discovered documents detailing plans for a new project which completely eclipses MacEwan Hall expansion. Construction work is scheduled to begin in August on a new 27-storey building tentatively dubbed the "Pepsi Tower."

Construction of the tower will last just under two years, allowing it to become operational for fall 2004. Though the SU refused to comment publicly on the matter, one executive spoke on the condition of anonymity.

"Any secret projects we may or may not have in the works would be completely corporate-sponsored" she said. "The new building would not require any student funding."

Documents outline how a new contract, scheduled to be signed on Feb. 21, will lock Pepsi and the University of Calgary in a deal which will last for the next 700 years. Pepsi will provide funding for the new building while the SU and the university will extend the existing contract with Pepsi and offer many additional guarantees, including ownership rights over students’ immortal souls. The contract contains other promotional rights such as plans to repaint the buildings on campus in the traditional Pepsi red, white, and blue. Other promotions include the insertion of PepsiCo Instructors into nearly every faculty on campus.

A draft copy of the 2003/04 calendar reveals some of the new courses that these instructors will offer students in the coming years. They are reprinted here as they were discovered.