Sure to cause insanity

I hate Britney Spears. I hate an obscenely popular local radio station. I hate that girl from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. I hate cheesy teen flicks that ooze sap and quick-fix endings. Combine all of these elements and you have one of the worst pools of cess in theatres right now.

Confused? Please allow me then to explain the pain endured as I sat through this horrific flick. The story starts with Nicole Maris (Melissa Joan Hart of Sabrina fame) and Chase Hammond (played by Adrian Grenier of nobody-knows-who fame) as next door neighbours. Two minutes into the film the ending is as obvious as an elephant’s ass. For the mostly prepubescent crowd however, the finale was a total surprise.

Anyway, Nicole is this big-time preppie who hangs out with the popular kids and Chase is a rebel who protests basically for the sake of protesting. Through a convoluted series of events, both end up being single and decide to join forces to get back at their former significant others.

As is the way with Hollywood, they fall in love, learn about human behaviour and end up in each others arms. In an Arkansas-like twist, Nicole’s divorced mother and Chase’s widowed father move in with each other, thus making them virtually married, and Nicole and Chase brother and sister. I’m sure that storyline will continue in the widely anticipated sequel, Drive Me Crazy with Incest.

On a positive note–for those old enough to remember–the teacher from Twisted Sister’s classic video "I Wanna Rock" makes a cameo as the school principal. There is also a reference to the similarity between Hitler’s Third Reich and the sheep-like characteristics of today’s youth.

So, for all those teeny-boppers out there, get in your cars, crank out the Backstreet Boys, zip on down to the movie theatre and be mesmerized by the poignant social commentary of Drive Me Crazy.

For those who loathe popular culture, go to the video store and rent something more significant, Porky’s or Meatballs I, II and III.

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