Expansion: the final countdown

By Dave McLean

Dear Mr. South,

Students’ Union President:

It’s been a while since we’ve spoken so I thought I’d take a minute to jot a few words down to touch base. Hopefully you had a good summer getting ready for the 1999-2000 school year, prepping your esteemed staff of all your plans for the coming months. In fact, it’s been five months since you first stepped foot in office and you’re already making things happen like a pedigree politician. The fringe festival’s Plan B was successfully held off-campus, CK one and the Bay made CampusFest the smash it routinely is, and we survived another clubs week without a significant violent incidence. For those endeavors, I commend you.

Of course, like all correspondence in an open forum there cannot be all good news. In fact, Mr. South, the next tidbit of information is the purpose for my letter writing. Way back in February, 1999 (I know it seems like a long time ago, but bear with me) you presented the student body with a concept that knocked our socks off. In true Stalinist fashion, you outlined your linear 10 Points of Vision (http://www.ucalgary.ca/~rpsouth). Among other… yawn… interesting points, you mentioned that you would consider a motion to stop forcing the student body to pay for the construction of a better MacHall if construction hadn’t started by the end of October.

Now, I hate to be a nag Mr. South, God knows you must get enough of that, but it’s already the 21st of October. So, using my amazing math skills, that gives you 10 days, if you don’t count today, to get the show on the road. In the
4 years and 2 months that I have gone to school here I’ve been paying the levy and to see you pull it off in 10 days would be quite a feat.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve noticed the hard-hats and cracks around, but before you get your knickers in a knot and cry foul that construction has already started, let me explain a few ground rules.

Firstly, re-development does not equal a new building. You can turn a Rubik’s Cube a million and a half times, but it’s still a Rubik’s Cube. You see, the reason we wanted an addition built in the first place was to get a bigger ballroom, more seating and a wider variety of food vendors on campus. So far all we’ve got is two less stairwells, one covered Max’s CafŽ, and some damn uncomfortable benches over by the bank machines–not to mention the kick-in-the-face we received when the stairwell was originally converted from two useless escalators to an equally useless set of stairs, and then finally to a decent stairwell, only to be ripped out a year later.

Secondly, don’t even think of telling that this is where our levy is going, for if you do you’ll have to face the irate wrath of all us old guys who’ve been ripped off for the better part of five years. Don’t try to tell me that the fancy logo brickwork near the Den is the product of my $7 a semester misspent. I don’t want to hear it.

The clock is ticking Mr. South: 10 days. You wouldn’t want to renege your promises to us, your loyal voters (1,172 strong), would you? In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter, you probably won’t be running for re-election and therefore won’t have to report to any higher power such as the voters. But still in 10 days I hope to see the scaffolding going up and the walls coming down to build a bigger better MacHall. And I hope it’s built soon, because the snow’s coming and it’s going to be a long winter.

Yours most sincerely,

The Student Body

PS. You also said you were going to eliminate GST on used textbooks. When you get around to that please send my cheque to D. McLean, General Delivery, Hell Frozen-Over. Thanks.