Sex Interview: More than just an orgasm

I’m an uptight whitey from Saskatchewan,” Dr. Trina Read says, describing herself. This isn’t the most conventional description for a sexpert, but don’t let it fool you. She holds a doctorate in sexology and is an accomplished sex columnist and international speaker. Read is pleased to be giving credibility to an academic field not traditionally considered a science.

“Scientifically valid research in the past few years has generated this field of study,” she explains. “However some people still don’t believe I have a doctorate in sexology.”

Her columns and workshops are mainly aimed at allowing heterosexual women to discover areas of their lives where they can feel sexy. This focus leaves her in an interesting role.

“I’m a facilitator of giving permission,” Read asserts. “Usually people already know the answers when they ask me questions, what they want is for me to tell them they are normal and that it’s okay. Women are fighting a losing battle of social constraints.”

This observation is why she feels so passionately about opening up a forum for women to discuss their sexuality. Although the issues women face are multi-faceted in nature, Read notes the two most common concerns of heterosexual females are the inability to orgasm and lack of communication with their partners.

“Oftentimes women are putting their own sexuality second to the male orgasm,” Read insists. “This misnomer that the man should take the lead is causing women to disconnect from the waist down.”

Through her February 9th workshop “Finding Your Inner Sexy”–which sold out in four days–women are encouraged to talk amongst each other. The workshop is based on the feedback Read has been receiving from women, claiming they want to feel sexy but don’t know how.

“There is brilliance in talking with other women,” stresses Read. “When women see other women who have the same insecurities, they can talk about them and find out what’s working and what’s not, and women don’t open up with men around the same way they do when it’s just women. Come in, have fun, laugh with other women, maybe have a few tears and walk away feeling beautiful.”

Read is so passionate about women getting together to talk about sex that she started a monthly discussion group called The T-Spot.

“Every month we discuss a different topic with a small group of women,” she says. “I like to keep it small so it remains safe, women can open up and learn something and best of all it’s free!”

What Read would like all women to realize is that knowledge is power. The best piece of advice for partners is to try having sex without the orgasm.

“Sex is not about the orgasm,” she stresses. “Sex is about sensuality and ambience, connecting with your partner.”

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