Spun: Wet Secrets

By Jordyn Marcellus

In the summer of 2007, Edmonton declared themselves the “Cultural Capital of Canada” to a series of eye-rolls and sarcastic smirks around our fair country. With bands like Shout Out Out Out Out, Dietzche V. and the Abominable and the Wet Secrets all pumping out tunes, a much more fitting label for good ol’ Deadmonton would be the “Party Capital of Canada.”

Let’s say one thing right off the bat: these guys will rock your fucking balls off. Songs like “Easy Prey vs. Sex Maniac” and “Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole” feature relentlessly driving synthesizers, handclaps and a snarling Lyle Bell (who is also a member of Whitey Houston) distilling the very essence of rock and roll–moustaches and rape–into songs that loosen up the uptight, too-serious crowd who enjoy post-rock.

The standout track on the album is the five-minute-long “Secret March,” the only song that can make you do the indie-rock-flail with trumpets and trombones. Many people may feel that songs like these are strange indulgences, but considering their live shows feature the group dressed up to the nines in full marching band regalia, it’s just the mystique of the band. Seriously, they have a song called “I Teabagged Myself.”

Don’t ask, just listen and dance.

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