Campus security report: adventures with pantless men

By Cam Cotton-O\’Brien

Making great strides to undermine the notion that human beings are rational creatures, two separate men forced Campus Security to deal with them when they proved incapable of wearing their pants properly– if at all.

In August, CS officers found a man wandering around lot 32 in only his underwear. When confronted, the man claimed to be a traveling salesman who had pulled into the parking lot in order to change his clothes. When CS explained how his lack of attire could be misconstrued, the man became angry. He was asked to leave campus.

That same month, CS was called to the Health Sciences building where a man was reportedly walking around with his pants undone. Officers approached the man, who explained that his pants were too small to do up and stressed that he was not looking at pornographic material on his computer. CS told him it was inappropriate to have one’s pants undone while at the university.

Also in August, CS officers attended a scene where a student had his bike stolen and found another unlocked in its place, which he then planned to take. Officers were able to talk him out of riding away with the other bike.

“This individual just had to be enlightened, I guess, that because he was the victim of a theft, does not allow him to choose somebody else’s property in his place,” said CS director Lanny Fritz.

In another bike-related incident, a CS officer was forced to jump off his bike and out of the way to avoid being struck by a car. The officer escaped with no significant injury, but the bike was completely destroyed. The driver, who left the scene, is expected to face charges.

“[There is] an investigation that is still going on and is being handled by the Calgary City Police,” said Fritz. “The driver is somebody who has a history with Calgary Police Service and Campus Security. This is not a student, it’s an off-campus person.”

In July, CS arrested a man distributing hurtful literature on campus. This was his second encounter with CS.

“It’s an off-campus person who has strong political beliefs when it comes to issues involving alter- native lifestyles,” said Fritz.

Three years ago, a number of complaints were received when the man placed flyers denouncing homosexuals and gay marriage on students’ windshields. When CS officers asked him to leave, he refused and was eventually arrested by police for trespassing.

“The pattern was the same this past July, with this individual being very aggressive and distributing offensive literature, resulting in several complaints from students,” said Fritz.

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