The Nanny’s Fran Drescher eats a bad piece of cake and then says in her trademark whiny voice, “I’m nauseous” (phonetically: nyaww-shuss). She follows this up with some abrasive cackling. I say to myself, “You sure are!” then change the channel. If you’re feeling ill from a bad piece of cake, the correct use of… Continue reading The writing’s on the wall
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Columnist clubbed to death
Carleton University in Ottawa welcomes their frosh students to campus life with a week-long party which includes wearing funny, spray-painted t-shirts, ridiculous games, and lots of drinking. Yes, drinking-focused events-the lowest common denominator kind that despite apprehensions, make you begin to feel connected and accepted into an intimidating new group. Hey, it’s no U of… Continue reading Columnist clubbed to death
It’s not my fault
You first. No, I insist. After you. Go ahead. I’ll go next.Carry on. Lead the way. I’m right behind you. Me and everyone else.One of the most popular gifts one can give after the holiday season is blame. Blame for why you’re not carrying out (or in some cases even bothering to put together) a… Continue reading It’s not my fault
The times, they aren’t a-changin’
When the dust finally settles, 1998 will go largely unnoticed in the history books. The turn of the new millennium and its inflated significance will be what matters. Where were you when we hit the year 2000? It will be the question that arises at parties when everyone gets nostalgic after knocking back a few… Continue reading The times, they aren’t a-changin’
… going three times: Sold!
“The Impression That I Get” is a catchy but insightful tune rolling across the airwaves right now, written by a band called the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Take a sample of the lyrics: I’m not a coward I’ve just never been tested / I like to think that if I was I would pass. And how… Continue reading … going three times: Sold!
Angst: not just for teens anymore
So one night over the summer I was loitering distractedly in a back alley somewhere in downtown Vancouver (believe it or not, I was at work), and I noticed a bright-looking piece of paper on the ground. Looking closer I saw it was a Popsicle wrapper. I was strangely drawn to the thing-in fact, I… Continue reading Angst: not just for teens anymore
Kangaroo court dreaming
Boy, did I ever have the weirdest dream the other night. It was a Monday, and I must have fallen asleep in front of the TV, just after 11 p.m. Let me try and explain it to you as best as I can remember… The dream starts with me sitting in a courtroom. Attorneys are… Continue reading Kangaroo court dreaming
Seagulls, beavers and mice, oh my!
It’s a lazy Sunday evening in November, and I’m at home, sprawled on my couch. My gaze floats across the living room. It fondly rests on my videotaped Dawson’s Creek episodes, then lingers on my official Hanson calendar, then finally upon my poster of Robert Fulghum’s All I Really Need To Know I Learned In… Continue reading Seagulls, beavers and mice, oh my!