Don’t dig further into the cookie jar

By Robb Myroon

Experts are people we trust and rely on. After all, they are the best of the best in their fields. A chiropractor somehow manages to fix a kink in the back and a cardiologist can do wonders with something as complex as the heart. While so small, the teeth are so important and the dentists of the world always seem to know what to do. All of them, with the possible exception of Mark Anderson.

No need to dance around the topic here, Anderson has been accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients. While it would be nice to think this is an isolated incident, there are too many of these types of people out there. There are those in power who feel above everyone else and intentionally violate and abuse unknowing innocent people.

The story gets worse. After Anderson was caught ‘full handed,’ one would like to think that the buck stops there. However, instead of admitting that he’s an ass and accepting the appropriate penalty–a loss of his license–Anderson and his lawyer are fighting the case.

The defence? Anderson claims the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem. While he is the expert here, it would seem as though that explanation is, well, completely bogus. The only jaw-related problem that comes to mind with female chest massages is a solid punch in the face immediately following the act.

It’s sad to see the lack of honesty and integrity in the world these days, but even worse to witness how low some can stoop with their wild explanations for completely inappropriate acts. This rationalization is entirely ridiculous; the argument is a wheel of Swiss cheese. Did he massage males for this jaw issue? Highly unlikely. Is this a common practice among dentists? Definitely not. How did he get away with this for so long? We’d all like to know the answer to that one.

Anderson also tries to pull the sympathy card, saying he needs to keep seeing patients to feed his seven children. While attempting to be as un-stereotypical as possible, you’d think he was getting enough action fathering seven kids, but clearly he still wasn’t fully satisfied.

Unfortunately, this type of story is all too common. Recently, a priest was caught on hidden camera making advances on a young man. The church has suffered greatly from stories like these, but at least most of them stop there.

This Vatican official is different though; he’s got a solid explanation for his actions. You see, he was only pretending to be gay as part of his work. Yes, he frequented online gay chat rooms and met gay men as part of his work as a psychoanalyst.

Big words are not going to fool the world though, Father. Psychoanalysts treat illnesses caused in the unconscious, usually using methods such as hypnosis or dream analysis. It would be a safe bet to say chat rooms are occurring in the conscious state, and most experts would agree that being gay is not an unconscious illness or a disease to be treated.

Odd as it may seem, the lesson here is not about making ethical and moral choices, but the decision to be made after the unethical act. These so-called experts are not only abusing their power, but are trying to get away with it. Here is an idea: make the fine or jail sentence twice as much or twice as long for trying to lie your way out of it. It’s an insult to society to hear the fairy tales some wise guys dream up. This absurdity has to stop.

When the hand is seen digging deeper into the cookie jar, it’s time to fess up and admit defeat. Don’t make the situation even worse by lying through your teeth.